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Dead Birds: Eagles Season Finally Comes to Desperate, Merciful End

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And that was your Eagles this year: A nice idea, but in the end... what the fuck?

Eagles Apologize for Dominant, Encouraging Win

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"It'll be tough," the quarterback continued. "But we'll have to find a way to outfuck ourselves against them."

So the Eagles are Terrible

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What went wrong, exactly? Well, "exactly" is a hard word to answer to. So let's back off a bit and ask "What went wrong, probably?"

Banner Week for Eagles Fans

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Sadly, the players seem to have Andy's back.

Flyers Pretty Much Have to be Team of Destiny

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Better latch on now, before it hurts too much to breathe.

How Are We Supposed to Feel: Vick Returns to Atlanta

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We feel so much better. Glad we hashed all that out. And now for a life time of shameful denial and tunnel vision.

Earthquake Tears Apart Philadelphia Sportscape

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Someone was smiling upon Philadelphia.  The Phillies were winning, the Eagles were signing, the Sixers weren't playing... all was right.  All was calm. Then, that...

Kevin Kolb Leaves Philly in a Fit of Insults

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But if you are offended by Kevin's words, just remember that he has a dumb mustache and probably won't amount to anything.

Eagles Totally Defenseless at the Moment

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This is just what it looks like when it wants to have sex. We're not allowed to show you it in mid-kill.

Michael Vick Will Save Us

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Michael Vick has cybernetic legs that can sense trouble. Or at least an incoming linebacker.

I Don’t Care Who Started It

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I don't want to call it "road rage," but I am an inconsolable wreck constantly on the verge of tears while operating a motor vehicle.

Eagles Steal Colt from Some Vikings

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It could be hardest on the zebras.

A Philthy Sports Post Election Day Snarkfest

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The people of New Jersey are now proud constituents of a brand new offensive tackle/state representative, which makes for some of the coolest business cards ever customized.

My Sister’s CD Collection as the Philadelphia Sports Scene

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She was kind enough to welcome me into her lovely home, so naturally I have rifled through her things.

Phreak Show: The Time Has Come

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There is nothing sexier than forcing two best friends fight to a graphic, slaughterous death.

Phreak Show: Mistaken Identity

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Rex Ryan is trying to channel the Bullies' essence in an intersport 'tude-heist across time.

Phreak Show: Loss FTW

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Brett Myers, ex-Phillies pitcher, current Astros pitcher, and sort of like that douchey older brother of one of your friends who bought you your first beers, but charged you $30 for a six pack of Natty and drank two of them on the way home.

Phreak Show: We’ve All Got Penises

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As they roast like pigs in the hot Bethlehem sun, their flesh and guts staining the newly seeded grass, we see the roots of a football season beginning to sprout into a team of impassioned, sort of uppity, and intriguingly violent Eagles.

Phreak Show: Let it Go, Man

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Last week, we discussed "justice," a little. This time, our theme takes a more sympathetic turn, as we put down our hammers and unclench our fists to offer a comforting, yet still frustrated, pat on the shoulder to our topics.

Phreak Show: Everything’s Fine

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In the end, that's what the NBA is all about, right? Having fun. And destroying entire cities with a one-hour special revolving around a single sentence. Also, money. Ungodly amounts of it.