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Dead Birds: Eagles Season Finally Comes to Desperate, Merciful End

And that was your Eagles this year: A nice idea, but in the end... what the fuck?

Eagles Apologize for Dominant, Encouraging Win

"It'll be tough," the quarterback continued. "But we'll have to find a way to outfuck ourselves against them."

So the Eagles are Terrible

What went wrong, exactly? Well, "exactly" is a hard word to answer to. So let's back off a bit and ask "What went wrong, probably?"

Banner Week for Eagles Fans

Sadly, the players seem to have Andy's back.

Flyers Pretty Much Have to be Team of Destiny

Better latch on now, before it hurts too much to breathe.

How Are We Supposed to Feel: Vick Returns to Atlanta

We feel so much better. Glad we hashed all that out. And now for a life time of shameful denial and tunnel vision.

Earthquake Tears Apart Philadelphia Sportscape

Someone was smiling upon Philadelphia.  The Phillies were winning, the Eagles were signing, the Sixers weren't playing... all was right.  All was calm. Then, that...

Kevin Kolb Leaves Philly in a Fit of Insults

But if you are offended by Kevin's words, just remember that he has a dumb mustache and probably won't amount to anything.

Eagles Totally Defenseless at the Moment

This is just what it looks like when it wants to have sex. We're not allowed to show you it in mid-kill.

Michael Vick Will Save Us

Michael Vick has cybernetic legs that can sense trouble. Or at least an incoming linebacker.

I Don’t Care Who Started It

I don't want to call it "road rage," but I am an inconsolable wreck constantly on the verge of tears while operating a motor vehicle.

Eagles Steal Colt from Some Vikings

It could be hardest on the zebras.

A Philthy Sports Post Election Day Snarkfest

The people of New Jersey are now proud constituents of a brand new offensive tackle/state representative, which makes for some of the coolest business cards ever customized.

My Sister’s CD Collection as the Philadelphia Sports Scene

She was kind enough to welcome me into her lovely home, so naturally I have rifled through her things.

Phreak Show: The Time Has Come

There is nothing sexier than forcing two best friends fight to a graphic, slaughterous death.

Phreak Show: Mistaken Identity

Rex Ryan is trying to channel the Bullies' essence in an intersport 'tude-heist across time.

Phreak Show: Loss FTW

Brett Myers, ex-Phillies pitcher, current Astros pitcher, and sort of like that douchey older brother of one of your friends who bought you your first beers, but charged you $30 for a six pack of Natty and drank two of them on the way home.

Phreak Show: We’ve All Got Penises

As they roast like pigs in the hot Bethlehem sun, their flesh and guts staining the newly seeded grass, we see the roots of a football season beginning to sprout into a team of impassioned, sort of uppity, and intriguingly violent Eagles.

Phreak Show: Let it Go, Man

Last week, we discussed "justice," a little. This time, our theme takes a more sympathetic turn, as we put down our hammers and unclench our fists to offer a comforting, yet still frustrated, pat on the shoulder to our topics.

Phreak Show: Everything’s Fine

In the end, that's what the NBA is all about, right? Having fun. And destroying entire cities with a one-hour special revolving around a single sentence. Also, money. Ungodly amounts of it.