Banner Week for Eagles Fans

Sadly, the players seem to have Andy's back....

Ah, the bye week.  As much part of football tradition as childish name calling and getting drunk at 9:00 am on the west coast of America.

A one-week vacation from glory, or in the Eagles’ case, from a downward spiral moving slowly enough for people to think it can stop.  Whether or not it will is not what we’re here to debate, though it is debatable.  No, what we’re doing is here is deciding at whom we can point our fingers and yell; using coherent, rational thought and careful analysis.

When a hyped sports team falters comically, the main thing to remember in this is that all the blame can be forced onto a single person.  And in this case, that person is obviously Andy Reid.

Look at him… sitting there with his s0ft-spoken apologies and melancholy shrugs.  YOU WIN US A CHAMPIONSHIP YOU GENTLE, MUSTACHIOED CHEESEBURGER.  If only we the fans had some tactful way of conveying this message to the Andy himself.  Then maybe he’d know how we feel.

[c/o CSN Philly]

Yes, obviously the Eagles will be unaware of their shortcomings unless we tell them about them, but sadly, this wasn’t even the worst banner raised by Philadelphia sports fans this week, and was not the eeriest by far.

[c/o Andy Gray, @si_vault]

Was raising a banner ordering the termination of Andy Reid the right thing to do?  Of course it was.  Have you been paying any attention to Occupy Wall Street?  Activism is cool again.  Is the unloading of hostility on the Eagles’ head coach as culturally relevant as taking back the country from a syndicate of evil billionaires?  Yes it is.

Sadly, the players seem to have Andy’s back.  If only they could just see that he was the root of all their problems, both professional and personal.  Guys like rookie center Jason Kerce and guard Evan Mathis, who politely asked for the banner the GTFO, made it clear that the fans, while appreciated, probably shouldn’t be leaving flaming bags of poop on the Eagles’ doorstep.

It will take quite a banner to chip away at this notion of “unity” that has infected the Eagles clubhouse.  If we really want to break their spirit and make them feel bad, we will have to up the hostility and profanity of our banner; a topic that has moved to the top of agenda of our next meeting (Also on the docket:  “DISCUSSION TOPICIs every one of the St. Louis Cardinals a sexual deviant?“).

If we’re going to help the 2011-12 Eagles, this is going to take a new level of depravity.  So let’s all dig deep, generate some innovative vulgarity, learn some personal secrets to attack our players with, and use our completely deserved sense of entitlement to take this team to a championship.  Don’t worry; they’ll crack under the emotional torment and just plain mean-spirited public spectacles we create.  It’s what being a fan is all about!

"Do you even LIKE the Eagles?" my friends keep asking.