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How to React to Chase Utley’s Return

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I can tell you with eerie certainty that he has never looked better. Nor has his wife and dog. In fact, everybody in the Utley household is at the top of their game.

Why You Are a Phillies Fan

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People leave a baseball game early because they think they know what is going to happen. Fans stay at the game because they know that anything can.

Put Some Clothes on the Phillies Ball Girls

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Some cities aren't as liberal as Philadelphia. But that isn't stopping the Phillies and Macy's from extending a challenge to those of us forever crouched over our sewing machines, fingers quivering with desire.

Eagles Totally Defenseless at the Moment

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This is just what it looks like when it wants to have sex. We're not allowed to show you it in mid-kill.

Michael Vick Will Save Us

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Michael Vick has cybernetic legs that can sense trouble. Or at least an incoming linebacker.

A Philthy Sports Post Election Day Snarkfest

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The people of New Jersey are now proud constituents of a brand new offensive tackle/state representative, which makes for some of the coolest business cards ever customized.