Libation: Blast by Colt45
ABV: 12%
Available: April 5th, 2011

We’d like to thank our friends at Colt45/Pabst for this review.

Blast by Colt45

As you grow older, there are some things in this world that you just have to do alone. Come Tuesday, you’ll have to do the dishes alone after you’ve lost the cold war weekend standoff to your roommate (I don’t have a dishwasher). And when you start working a 9-5 and you are given a product that is supposed to be the solution to the devastating loss that was the banning of Fourloko… you might have to try it alone.

And maybe that’s not the worst thing that could have happened out of this whole experience.

I guess I have to say that the whole thing really was an experience. I got a message from Paul a few days ago about doing a review for what he called purple drank. I didn’t want to say it but the idea, quite frankly, horrified me a little bit. But it was an exclusive and down the vine of a friend of a friend, I wound up driving into Fishtown with my roommate to pick up what was actually called Blast.

But lets just rewind a little bit. My dealings with Fourloko have been pointedly nill. I’ve cringed at the sight of good friends showing up to parties with cases of Fourloko—most of which were bought towards the end of its demise in Philadelphia. I’m typically a pretty agreeable drunk. I usually make silly jokes and tell people how seriously (no seriously!) awesome they are.

But these drinks are a different caliber. Let’s spare the gory, pantless details and just let you figure out the rest.

When I finally mustered up the gnads to try one, I had spent most of the day at my job ready to pull some Office Space shit. I grabbed one of the bigger wine glasses I had and poured the strange blue (Blueberry Pomegranate) substance into the glass. I guess I was hoping that by pouring it into a glass, the substance would somehow become less intimidating.

It didn’t. So I tried it and I guess I was really just being a little bitch about the whole ordeal.

Quite honestly, Blast tastes infinitely less synthetic and evil than Fourloko does. If you’re not into sweet, I would really suggest something else but if you don’t mind a spoon full of sugar with your booze, you’re good to go.

Blast by Colt45I tried the purple too with a little less enthusiasm despite feeling GREAT after one little 12oz bottle. The Grape is just as sweet but slightly harder to drink. It’s a bit syrupy but it absolutely gets the job done.

And yes, after two they really do taste like candy and everything is awesome.

According to our friend Jay Yo! Blast will be sold for cheaper than Fourloko and also available in pint cans. Blast comes in four different flavors: Strawberry Lemonade, Raspberry Watermelon, Grape, and Blueberry Pomegranate.

Let’s ring in yet another year of bad decisions and brightly colored malt liquor because I’ll be honest, I may or may not have just sent a series of shameful drunk texts through this whole ordeal.