PICTURED: Villanova basketball (Cats in free fall)

It’s the first half.  Notre Dame has filled the arena with some of our country’s most self-entitled pricks; only this time, they’re all dressed the same and chanting, so they’re technically “fans.”

A few minutes go by.  ‘Nova goes down 14-4 and Notre Dame makes five of six from three point range.  An announcer tells a story about the Villanova coach refusing to show his team film of Notre Dame’s other games this season because he was afraid they’d be too intimidated by the Irish’s total basketball perfection.  He follows the anecdote up with another; but this one is about how if the Wildcats don’t stop losing, the players will probably go insane.

He also mentions a good strategy for them is not not let Notre Dame’s two best players “…catch the ball.”  Not too much further into the half, he lets out another gem:  “What [Villanova] really has to do is score.”

This is going great.  So great that I pass out into a celebratory coma and wake up at a point in the game when the Wildcats have gone down by close to 30 points.  Notre Dame’s Tim Abromaitis was on his way to nine–holy shit–three pointers, which in basketball terms is enough to “leave the room and not come back.”

When I awaken, Villanova has gotten their shit together and closed gap, losing by only 19 points (93-72).

Notre Dame made 20 three pointers and netted themselves a double bye in the Big East tournament.  Also they manage to solidify a 17-0 season at home.

As The Nova Blog will tell you,

Ben Hansbrough and Tim Abromaitis had literally the best games they’ll ever have in college basketball. I’m not kidding at all. If you don’t believe me check out the box score.”

So, you see what happens when we poke our heads out of the warm, safe glow of Phillies Spring Training?