In our new series “INTERNET ODDITIES” Philthy Blog investigates “The Josiah Project”. If you thought you had it right about being a real man in today’s Judeo-Christian society… well then take a second guess Philthadelphia. We’d like to thank our friends over at the Found Footage Festival for finding a gem on the Josiah Project and what it means to be a modern day man. Philthy Blog ventured alittle deeper into this film and broke down the Christian right’s manifesto for “real mandom”:
1) Christians identify with Jean Reno
It’s apparent that Christians identify with Jean Reno, but who wouldnt? The Professional was awesome with it’s breakout performance with Natalie Portman and it’s mirroring of crusades-like silver screen action. Jean Reno deals out retribution in a biblical way, as if the flaming rapture sword of justice was extended from his hand to crush corrupt DEA agents ( non-believers) everywhere. Now the only issue with this relevance is that this would technically make Gary Oldman the antichrist. We could pose that this could be true from the fact he plays somewhat of an antichrist in The Book of Eli.
If we really need difinitive truth that Gary Oldman IS INFACT the antichrist…let’s just stroll down memory lane to the made for TV movie Jesus in which Gary plays Pontius Pilate. Ok, ok… Thats enough movie trivia to establish the Six degrees of Gary Oldman and the Antichrist.
2) Christians do not like Green Day, Pearl Jam, and Counting Crows
We here at Philthy Blog threw around ideas to why Christians hate Green Day, Pearl Jam and Counting Crows: 1) Green Day’s debut album supports masturbation in the song “Longview”, an excerpt of the lyrics goes “..When masturbation’s lost its fun, You’re fucking lonely”. One could say that this is not supportive of masturbation, but advocates abstinence…and perhaps moment when you become lonely is when Christ is supposed to enter your heart and you accept Jesus as your lord and savior. If you skip acouple tracks to “Basket Case” we can now see why Christians do not advocate Green Day. Pearl Jam is a no brainer with their hatred of George Bush and their pro-choice advocacy. We are at a loss to why Counting Crows was added to their list, as they were recently featured in Shrek 2 which was praised by pro-christian advocacy groups.
3) Punch out former best friends who you used to smoke pot with
Philthy Blog dosent understand this part of the manifesto of the “Josiah Project”. Perhaps this is a new chapter in evangelism, where they do not spare the rod to spread Jesus’s word. Today’s modern Christian dosent have time to lecture Stoners, Post-Alternative Grunge Rockers and most importantly pro-gay pro-environment dirty hippies.. It’s come down to the long arm of justice to have the power of christ compel you into submission while speaking Spanish in an un-politically correct fashion. This could also be another nod to the obsession issue with Jean Reno, but this could be argued for years to come. We are unsure as to why everyone who becomes a Christian now adays tries to alienate themselves from 90% of their former friend base; whatever happened to love thy neighbor? Obviously, the Josiah Project is in this for keeps and has no patience for slackers, dopers, dweebs, dropouts or worse…. Sylvester Stallone. Did you see rim rip down that Demolition Man poster with such gusto? I’m not sure if this means that the Josiah Project is anti-Stallone or they have an issue with a Utopian Society where people are allowed to dress like Associate Bob. We here at Philthy Blog mourn the passing of Glenn Shadix. He was a superb actor and will be missed by us all, but apparently not missed by The Josiah Project or the Westboro Baptist Family Church. All of this religiousness has taken us down another tangent which is this May 21st nonsense. Ive never seen so many people eager to die, aside from the Hale Bopp loonies.. I guess we are going to have another case of spiked cool aid and matching sneakers… which is why were at Philthy Blog we have marketed our own running shoes for the rapture! We have limited supply so get your orders in soon!
If you find another internet oddity you deem worthy of blogging, let us know email us