Flyers

The Penguins put their skirts on last night, but not their dainty ballet skirts. They slipped on their classiest gowns and came out with the intent to not go quietly....

The key to their success? Relentless athleticism. Concentrated support. And as always, Peter Laviolette being seconds away from a vicious crime....

Somewhere between protecting their eggs from the harsh Arctic cold and learning to play hockey, Penguins became a whiny, detestable pack of Pennsylvanian jerkbags. And there's not a thing Morgan Freeman could narrate them doing that could change that....

The Flyers need you to help them set the bar high on 2012. Otherwise, we'll just keep being dominant with the occasional humiliating loss. ...

Whoa, whoa! Calm down, Kimmo! It's just a game! Ha, ha, ha. Just kidding. Kill everybody....

Better latch on now, before it hurts too much to breathe....

Dan Carcillo, best known for missing body parts and kind of looking like Mandy Patinkin, has just become the second ex-Philadelphia athlete to teach us all a thing or two from several hundred miles away. ...

There are still faces on the franchise, despite two of them being ripped off; better, uglier faces....

So as the Wells Fargo Center fills with orange and the newly healed Chris Pronger glides around the ice like a flying serial killer, there is a simple philosophy that is set to inspire both of the arena's inhabitants in either sport: A win's a win....